I have been an achievement-oriented person for the majority of my life, and educational and professional success has been of utmost importance to me. After losing my parents before I was 25, I also made sure I developed meaningful relationships around me as well. Don't get me wrong. I truly do value the people I have in my life. I married my wonderful husband, and we have a fulfilling life together. But if I am being completely honest with myself, my measure of success has been in comparison to the number of dollars on my tax form, the degrees behind my name, and the promotions I have been awarded in my career.
And while I was doing pretty well according to my expected trajectory, I have gone through periods of that same deep wondering I know every single person on this planet experiences. The search for meaning. And the inevitable question, "What is my life's purpose?"
My logical mind told me that work is okay. That it affords me a lifestyle I am comfortable with. But is this really it for me? My spirit told me that I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to help people. And that left me in a state of inquiry: Is what I'm doing right now fulfilling my life's purpose?
And the answer was a big fat NO. But for reasons different than what I expected.
A year ago I gave birth to my daughter, Adeline (Happy Birthday, sweet girl!), and my paradigm shifted. It dawned on me that maybe work didn't have to be my measure of success. For any of you parents out there, you may understand that in my new parent world, the number one measure of success was keeping my child alive and my husband intact one day at a time. (Sorry, J, you're the best, but I wanted to kill you sometimes!) I no longer cared about the dollars, the emails, the people and projects that needed to be managed. Hell, all I knew was that we made it in to bed each night, and that was the biggest success I could ask for! #winning
For those without kiddos, keep reading. This is not a parenting blog entry (not today, anyway)! Becoming a mother was my way of having an awakening, but it is not the way. Life experience is life experience, and it all counts. You hear that? You count! Motherhood just happened to be the experience that helped me realize that my life's purpose did not equal my career and salary. I've heard people say that before. I DID NOT GET IT. It sounded very spiritual and humble, but heck, I wanted (and still do want) a nice house, a sexy SUV, and luxury vacations aplenty. And I could not have imagined that happening without my life's purpose being centered around my job. But after Adeline, I started to see a different way.
My next level of understanding was in finding my life's purpose by tracking down experiences that brought me joy. (Read my blog on identifying your talents through joy here.) If I could find what I was passionate about, then perhaps I could get paid to do that! And then it's not really work. It's just a monetary exchange to reward my passion. That's not work! I am so tricky, right? I almost outsmarted myself and Universe, too.
To be honest, I actually do think that's a great way to live life. I think it is insanely awesome to observe what you naturally gravitate toward and to allow for an opportunity to get paid for it. Who wouldn't want that?! And I am playing with this, too! But does that mean it's your life's purpose?
Let's revisit the message that spirit sent me: Your life's purpose is to be you, the rest is just for fun.
So can you just imagine that? Can you imagine that the sole purpose of your life is to let your true self shine? That all you need to do is show up and be unapologetically you? (If you want to read a great story about this, pick up Anita Moorjani's book Dying to be Me.)
It seems so simple. Is this even right? Well, you decide for yourself! When I sift through messages, wisdom or advice to determine if it is true for me, I ask myself, "If I believe this, does my life feel easier or harder? Better or worse? Joyful or stressful? If I feel ease, improvement, relief or joy, I know it is my truth. Period. End of story. And in my world, I was flooded with relief with that knowing that my life's purpose is to be me. Boom.
It's pretty earth-shattering, actually. It is taking me some time to really let this settle in. Think about what this means. If I show up every day and commit to honoring myself no matter what circumstance surrounds me, I am serving my life's purpose. Can I get a HELL YEAH?! How good does that feel? So good! So if my purpose is being my bright shiny radiant self, then what about work? Parenthood? Family? Well, that was the second part of the message, remember?
It's all for fun! And in the words of Jerry Greenfield:
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What? Are you saying that work, my relationships, and my everyday activities are all for fun? Whoa! So why the heck am I doing things that are not fun and honoring to my true self? Good. Damn. Question.
In all seriousness now, I would like to leave you with this: You have permission to be yourself. You do you. That is what you are here to do. You are here to shine your talents and to be as big as you can possibly be. You will make a difference. You will help people. You may not realize this, but you already do. And you will help yourself, too. Now look at the rest of your life and ask yourself, "Is this fun?" And if it isn't, can you make it fun? And if you can't, will you allow yourself to let it go?
You are a kickass human being, and you deserve to spend your life serving your purpose by living in your glory and having fun with all the rest.
Stay true, be you,
XO Amy
